Inside Out (Everlasting)

By Hillsong United

A thousand times I’ve failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I’m caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Potluck with OISE Friends

Just came back from dinner at V.S.'s place down in East York. It was the monthly get-together for the Foodies club. A potluck is always lots of fun because it's easy on the wallet. The only part that's depressing is people leave at different times, and when you're leaving all by yourself, it's extra depressing.

Anyhow, V.S. made a very lovely dinner for us. I have never had rice and mince meat roasted in a tomato before. The flavours were rich but light at the same time.

I brought cupcakes, which were really the size of muffins. You see, I was supposed to make 24 cupcakes, but I put too much batter into each cup and it turned into 12 muffin-cakes.

We talked about our work and now I feel like I work at the best school in all of Toronto, and I have the best colleagues and admin. Seriously, compared to what my friends are dealing with at their schools, my school is Paradise. YAY for me! =D

Thanks to everyone at V.S.'s party,
Good night.

Birds mentioned in TDIR

These are pics of the wren. The first is a winter wren taken by Marie O'Shaughnessy. The second is a house wren, photographer unknown.

http://www.dkimages.com/discover/Home/Animals/Birds/Orders-of-Living-Birds/Passerines/Crows-and-Relatives/Rook/Rook-4.html
http://www.dkimages.com/discover/Home/Animals/Birds/Orders-of-Living-Birds/Passerines/Crows-and-Relatives/Rook/Rook-1.html
Here are two pics of rooks I found on dkimages.com. The colour black is enough to suggest the sinister nature of the bird. Plus, the pic of the bird crying shows a beak like a pair of scissors: viciousnes. Unfortunately, I am unable to directly upload the pictures because they are subject to copyright.

London Trip

http://maps.google.ca/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=Bryanston+Street,+London,+W1H+7EH&sll=51.514138,-0.145397&sspn=0.011698,0.025706&ie=UTF8&ll=51.513123,-0.157371&spn=0.011698,0.025706&z=15
Thistle Marble Arch Hotel, Bryanston Street, London, W1H 7EH

http://maps.google.ca/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=London,+England&ie=UTF8&ll=51.4995,-0.124025&spn=0.023403,0.051413&z=14
Map of London

Places We'll See
Day 3 - Parliament Sq., Palace of Westminster, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey
--------Whitehall, Nelson's Column Trafalgar Sq., Buckingham Palace.

Day 5 - St. Paul's Cathedral,

Dith Pran (1943-2008)

Yesterday, Dith Pran died at age 65 of pancreatic cancer in a New Jersey hospital.

He is the Cambodian-born journalist who reported the happenings in his homeland with his partner, Sydney Schanberg, for The New York Times. They went over there in 1975, when the Khmer Rouge entered Phnom Phen and started what later became known as "the Killing fields," s term coined by Pran and which became the title of the Oscar-winning film. It was called such because over an estimated 2.5 million people died during this terrifying campaign. People were rounded up and sent to the countryside to work as farm labourers. People died of starvation, disease and over-work; hence, the killing fields. Anyone who opposed the demands of the Khmer Rouge were executed or sent to prison. There, they were tortured. Pran was one of these unfortunate souls when the Khmer forces forbade him to return to the United States.

Four years later, he was able to escape to Thailand.

In recent years, survivors of the Khmer Rouge era who have emmigrated to western countries like the US have opened up about their experiences in prison. Paintings have been exhibited at galleries, and looking at these oil and canvas renditions would make your churning stomachs feel like an endless hollow pit.

How a person can survive such suffering and have their mental faculties intact is something of a mystery to me. I find it revolting because of the evil behind those acts of torture, but I also find the resilience and strength of the survivors to be mystifying.

I have often thought of what professions do I admire most, and undoubtably, journalism is close to number one. It's right up there with being a teacher :p

TDIR Inspired Research on the Celtic Beliefs on the Afterlife

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Did_the_celts_believe_in_immortality

The Celts did believe that a soul lived on after death and would enter another world. It's not the same as reincarnation, but it's similar. Or, maybe it's the same?

Reincarnation
'It was around the first century AD that both the Greek and Roman writers were surprised by the fact that the Druids, a priestly caste of the Celts (see Druidism), believed in reincarnation. The Greek writer Diordus Siculus (c. 60 BC - 30 AD) noted that the Druids believed "the souls of men are immortal, and that after a definite number of years they live a second life when the soul passes to another body." '

Celtic Reconstructionism FAQ
Has a lot of questions with links to answers. Not necessarily on reincarnation, though.

Now, assuming that Cooper based a lot of her book on Celtic folklore and mythology, then the idea of immortality for the Old Ones makes sense in this way: the soul of an Old One doesn't die. It just takes on a different bodily form, or it goes into a different world. Whether it is Merriman's case or Will Stanton's case, this makes sense. After Merlin died, he came to our world. How could it be that Will is so young, yet he could possess an Old soul? Perhaps the soul just reincarnated into his body at birth, and so when he dies, the soul will travel to another body. That body will have to be "awoken" when the time is right. However, Will is the last of the Old Ones, and he is immortal. That means that his soul will not reincarnate into another body. He will simply live forever.

It's actually not clear if Merriman had to go through a similar process as Will did on his 11th birthday, or if Merriman is the same body-form of Merlin way back in King Arthur's time. I think if Will Stanton had to be born ignorant of his special powers, and only realize it once he turned 11, then Merriman would have had to go through the same process. It's just that with an Old One, Merriman could have gone through that process over 3 or 4 hundred years ago.

Dr. Drew (Over Sea, Under Stone)

I'm re-reading The Dark is Rising Sequence for the nth time now. I never noticed how funny Dr. Drew is, the father of the three adventurers in Susan Cooper's novel.

Chapter 2
'Did you go fishing today, Father?' Jane said hopefully from across the table, feeling that it was time to change the subject.

'No,' said Father.

'Don't be stupid,' Simon said ungratefully, still smarting. 'It was raining.'

'Well, Father does go fishing in the rain sometimes.'

'No, he doesn't.'

'Yes, he does.'

'If I may be allowed to explain my own actions,' Father said with heavy sarcasm. 'Occasionally I have been known to go fishing in the rain. Today I did not. Is that comprehensible?'

Chapter 3
But when all three children were upstairs (sent early up to bed because, Father said ominously when Simon imitated a lightship siren right behind his chair, they were all 'overtired'),

師奶唔易做 My Mother is a Belly Dancer (2006)

I just saw this movie on CFMT (cable 14 on Rogers). It's so rare to see this kind of movie come out from Hong Kong*(see note below). The cast does not contain any young pop superstars, and the story is not about how a boy tries to get a girl. Instead, the movie is a candid yet inspiring portrayal of how four housewives (women with children is more accurate) try to go against oppressive attitudes about what a woman's role is, and where her power lies.

Plot:
Four women each have their own problems to deal with at home. One young woman is a single mother; another is aging and loses her husband to a younger mistress; a third loses her job as the garbage lady and is afraid of telling her family; a fourth is emotionally abused by her husband and her young son. One day, they decide to take belly-dancing lessons, given by the housing estate after the original folk dance teacher disappears. Through the dancing, these women start to rediscover the greatness of having self-confidence and self-esteem on your own terms. Then trouble arrives...

In the end, real life catches up to the fantasies, and not everyone has a happy ending...well, at least some have bittersweet endings. Having supportive friends, belly dancing and self-esteem aren't the answers to all their problems, but they are the foundations to building a meaningful and fulfilling life.

Kudos to Andy Lau for appearing in a cameo role to show his support for My Mother is a Belly Dancer.

*ETA:
No wonder the story is so well-written! The screenwriter is Erica Li 李敏, who was a member of the musical group, Dream Theatre. Together with Yvonne Lau, they wrote their own lyrics and released over 5 albums during the mid-80s to early 90s. I knew that she had since moved to the US and become a writer, but I didn't know that she had started writing for the screen. YAY!

花木難 歌詞 Mulan's Disaster Lyrics

作曲：方皓玟
作詞：方皓玟
監製：Edmond Tsang
喜歡 投入到淪陷
單戀者最後全場圍剿我被困
還是我應該慶幸
如何流乾眼淚與裂痕
中毒更深
假使 凡事出必有因
不想講責任 誰曾留低過熱吻
其實我都不算笨
堂堂男子漢未須操心
我極勇敢
為愛竟犯了錯 前路坎坷
雪地太孤獨萬劫不復像最初
除非唱錯一首悲歌要舉世風靡
欣賞表演的觀眾未夠多
隨手可打擊我
每日排著坐任你觀摩
失去他 沒可怕
萬馬千軍流失血汗吧
沿路蓋著腳印的瘡疤
迷戀你的優雅
真與假 亦恐怕
滑過指尖贏取讚頌吧
遙望最劇痛心的落霞

失去他 別驚訝
萬箭穿心來得更瀟灑
蒙著耳願意信的廢話
迷戀你的優雅
為愛竟犯了錯 前路坎坷
雪地太孤獨萬劫不復像最初
除非唱錯一首悲歌要舉世風靡
欣賞表演的觀眾未夠多
隨手可打擊我
每日排著坐直到干戈
喜歡 投入到淪陷

"Mulan's Disasters"
Sung by Renee Dai
Song & Lyrics by Charmaine Fong
Arrangement by Edmond Tsang

Love, so deeply as if conquered.

They surround me on the battlefield, trapped;
Or should I feel fortunate?
How can I cry until my tears are dry?
And, the cracks let more poison in.

Suppose, everything has a cause;
Not to blame, but who left behind a kiss?
Actually, I'm not a fool.
A manly man need not worry
because I'm very brave.

Made so many mistakes in love; the path will be full of hardship.
The field of snow is a lonely and treacherous path like it was at the beginning,
Suppose, I've been singing the wrong love song, yet expecting to be admired by all.
There aren't enough audiences who appreciate it:
Single-handedly, he could strike me down and
Every day, I sit here as you watch and fondle at will.

I've lost him, but I'm not afraid.
Let the sweat and blood flow in battle;
marching along the path full of scabs and scars,
bewitched by your elegance.
Real versus make-believe, how frightening they are
If I could only ski over the fingertip and win all their praises,
But I could only stare at the painfullest heartache of sunsets.

Made so many mistakes in love; the path will be full of hardship.
The field of snow is a lonely and treacherous path like always,
Suppose, I've been singing the wrong love song, yet expecting to be admired by all.
There aren't enough audiences who appreciate it:
Single-handedly, he could strike me down and
Every day, I sit here until I get to fight for him in battle.

I've lost him, but there's nothing to be afraid about.
I look more heroic with thousands of arrows
pierced through my heart.
I cover up my ears and believe all those lies,
bewitched by your elegance.

Made so many mistakes in love; the path will be full of hardship.
The field of snow is a lonely and treacherous path like always,
Suppose, I've been singing the wrong love song, yet expecting to be admired by all.
There aren't enough audiences who appreciate it:
Single-handedly, he could strike me down and
Every day, I sit here until I get to fight for him in battle.

Love, so deeply as if conquered.

王菀之 開到荼蘼 (Kai Dao Tu Mi)

Last week, Ivana took part in a TV music program and she performed Faye Wong's "The Wilting Blossom" live.



The male (a songwriter for another Faye Wong tune) praises Ivana's singing ability and the fact that she does not have a Cantonese accent. She humbly admits that she does, but she also explains that while she was recording her Mandarin album in Taiwan, her producer stressed the importance of accurate pronunciation. That's why she can sing Mandarin lyrics so accurately and clearly.

Ch. 3: 刀斷刃，人斷腸 (Link)

"他們的笑聲，傅紅雪好像根本沒有聽見。他臉上還是全無表情，慢慢地鑽過柵欄，拖著沉重的腳步，一步步往前。他身上的衣服不知何時又已濕透。紫衫少年的笑聲突然一起停頓——也不知是誰，首先看到了地上的腳印，然後就沒有人還能笑得出。因為大家都已發現，他每走一步，地上就留下一個很深的腳印，就像是刀刻出來一般的腳印。"

Translation:
Their laughter didn't appear to be heard by Fu Hongxue at all. His face expressionless, he slowly worked his way through the gap in the gate, dragging his heavy foot, going forward step by step. His clothes appeared damp again. The group of youngsters in purple robes suddenly stopped laughing--it's not known who was the first, but someone saw the footprint left on the ground, and no one could bring himself to laugh after that; because everyone discovered it then, that there was left on the ground a deep-set footprint as if it were carved by a sabre.

I remember when I was younger, I saw the series made by TVB where Hugo Ng played Fu Hongxue. This is one of the most memorable scenes, if not THE most memorable scene for me. And now, reading it in the original text, it's even more powerful! =D

The Bordertown Wanderer: Ch 2 (link)

So far, very little has happened. Some of the major characters, however, have been introduced. Ma Fongling 馬芳鈴 has appeared, and she is a friend of Xiao Bieli 蕭別離, the owner of the tavern. Yie Kai 葉開 is described as a very poor man, whose clothes are tattered and very smelly. The sole of his shoe has worn out, exposing his skin. The skin has swollen due to all the walking he's done, and instead of criticizing the shoes, he criticizes his own feet. He's very funny, but he's also very wise.

Right now, at the end of chapter 2, Yie Kai is traveling in a carriage to the Ma estate to meet the owner, Ma Kongqun 馬空群. Suddenly, Yie Kai hears someone chanting an ominous song that goes like this:
"The sky's a-flutter, the earth's a-flutter, the eyes bleed and the moon is dim. Once you've entered the Ma Estate, swords will clash and men will die. The sky's a-flutter, the earth's a-flutter. Tears like blood, men will die. Once you've entered the Ma Estate, there is no going back."

"天皇皇，地皇皇。眼流血，月無光。一入萬馬堂，刀斷刃，人斷腸！天皇，地皇皇。淚如血，人斷腸。一入萬馬堂，休想回故鄉。"

***EDIT***
Ch. 6 誰是埋刀人 Who Owns the Hidden Sabre?

無論誰只要鼻樑擊碎，頭就會發暈，眼睛就會被自己鼻子裡標出來的血封住，就很
難再有閃避還擊的機會。

No matter whoever is standing close enough, if he struck you on the nose, the force of the blow would fracture the bone and the victim will start to feel faint. Next, the eyes will glaze over with the blood that bleeds from internally. There is no hope of avoiding the strike or to respond to the attack.

邊城浪子 - 序: 紅雪 (Link)

The prologue to The Bordertown Wanderer by Gu Long 古龍 introduces one of the main characters, Fu Hongxue. He is a young man who is assigned the mission of avenging his father's murder of 18 years ago. His mother gives him a black sabre that is covered with red snow. This is where I find it very hard to accept the imagery, as morbidly beautiful as it is. The reason is because Gu Long describes the snow as a powder that has been sitting on the blade of the sabre for the past 18 years. Now, when the old lady unleashes the sabre, the red snow powder actually falls to the ground.

I've grown up with the Canadian winter for almost 30 years, and as far as I know, snow melts. It does not turn into a solid powder form. I'm wondering how this is possible? I'm going to ask the experts at WuxiaMania for their explanation.

Other than the snow turning into powder part, I really like the rest of the descriptions. The language is very descriptive, but not figurative. This is the main difference between Gu Long and Jin Yong that I notice so far. I kind of like it that the language is so simple. The images are clearer and more vivid.

***EDIT***
I asked some experts at WuxiaSociety.com about this, and they helped me to figure out the answer. The red powder that the old lady called red snow, which she also sprinkled on Fu Hongxue, is just red powder. She's pretending it's snow, as is he. It's symbolic, and by having the red powder sprinkled on him, Fu Hongxue is symbolically bound to the murder mystery.

It is important to note that when Gu Long wrote, he wrote with Mandarin in mind, not Cantonese. In Mandarin, hong xue is a homonym of red snow and red blood. So, figuratively speaking, she described to the young man how snow was coloured red by the blood of the massacre. And when she sprinkled the red snow onto Fu Hongxue, it's as if she was splashing red blood on him.

So, I now see how the red powder works as a symbolic object to bind the young man to the murder mystery. Thus, he becomes responsible for having to solve the mystery and avenge his father and all the other members of his family who were massacred 18 years ago.

講不出聲 Speechless

講不出聲 (溏心風暴主題曲)

主唱: 關菊英
作曲: 鄧智偉
填詞: 張美賢

誰人無得到一切的渴求
誰人無攻於心計的理由
平凡人生 天真過後
要怎麼走

如何從委曲中再相信人
誰無狂想 不可告人
難忘時光 必須散席 留下我

*快樂時 抱著時
那是至死不渝朋友
決裂時 你為何以為再拖一會
還有時候

即是多風光都要清醒
有幾多掌聲也是孤清
你只可聽到我大笑聲
哭泣 也未放聲

講不出聲 講不出聲
任由自己 半夜驚醒
我只不過偶爾受了驚
於是 才遺忘本性*

李克勤 - 無言感激 情情塔塔演唱會 2002

In this clip from Hacken Lee's concert from 2002, he talks about the lessons he's learned since his 1995 concert, where only 40% of the seats were filled each night. Since then, he's worked really hard at other jobs that have nothing to do with singing, hoping that one day, he'll get a second chance at having a concert and that this time, there won't be any empty seats left over. On the last night of this concert series, it was a sold out show. Here, Hacken Lee sings Alan Tam's "Words Cannot Convey My Gratitude." He dedicates this song to all the members of his audience, saying that now, he truly understands how it really feels to not have the words to convey the amount of gratitude he feels towards them.

My Newest Guitar Guy Crush

Here's a video of Chi-Ning, from the band 929. He's performing the song titled "Looks Like Stars". I really like this song, but what I love are the guitar riffs, especially the one at the very beginning.

Previous posts on the Darfur Crisis in Sudan. LINK

Last Thursday, I watched this documentary titled Darfur: On Our Watch. I found it very frustrating as I watched the how this war has been going on for almost 8 years, and yet so little has been done about it. The UN, which has been having countless meetings about Darfur all this time, has been able to produce very little work towards bringing the conflict to a close. The major reason up until 2006 was the role China has to play in the decision-making process.

According to the documentary, China has invested a lot into the oil industry in the Sudan. The Sudanese government gets payment for the oil, while the Chinese gov't sends engineers and developers to go to the Sudan to excavate oil. More importantly, the Chinese gov't supplies weapons and arms to the Sudanese military (who in turn supply weapons and arms to militias like the Janjaweed). This is why China has opposed UN efforts - however weak they were - to intervene in the Darfur Crisis.

Another roadblock, and this is a major one, is the definition of genocide. Some claim that what is happening in Darfur is genocide, while others are saying it's tribal warfare. The definition is this: "The systematic and planned extermination of an entire national, racial, political, or ethnic group." From what I've read, the beginnings of the conflict may have been motivated by the animosity between tribal interests. However, at this juncture, when you have one group who consider themselves to be Arabs slaughtering and raping people who consider themselves to be Africans, then it is one ethnic group against another. Then, it is genocide.

At the end of this documentary, I got this message, and perhaps it's a confirmation rather than a declaration: Help hasn't been given to the people of Darfur because they are black. If they were white or if they looked European, member countries of the UN would not have had such a hard time deciding on how to act. They would have acted a lot sooner to put a stop to it. For example, Kosovo in the former Yugoslavia. The US acted very quickly. The US got a lot of support very quickly. This time, it was not as easy and I do believe that skin colour has a huge role to play in stalling the decision-making process. The result is that over hundreds of thousands of people have been killed, raped, maimed and displaced since 2002 when the conflict erupted.

What annoys me is that this issue has not be discussed very much, if at all, in the Chinese media.



http://www.answers.com/genocide?cat=biz-fin
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A21143-2004Dec22.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/3613953.stm

New English College Pathway Curriculum

Yesterday, I went to a workshop organized by the TDSB on the new grade 11 and 12 English College prep programs. It was lead by instructional leaders Valerie Fraser and Rachel Cook, held at The Highbrook Learning Centre.

The morning session focussed on the new curriculum documents themselves, and what the highlights are from each of the four strands: Oral & Listening, Lit. Studies & Reading, Writing and Media Literacy. The important point gathered from this activity is that the new curriculum is a lot more flexible as far as choice of texts and types of assignments are concerned. The stress now is on how the material is taught, the delivery. Simply, the stress is on skills building to improve literacy. The skills that the new curriculum targets as being important are the listening skills and the media literacy skills. How do we teach this? The answer is using metacognitive strategies. We teach students how to listen by making them aware of how they listen. This goes with writing, reading and media literacy as well.

The afternoon session focussed on metacognition and how it can be used in the classroom to enhance students' skills acquisition. Namely, we could use anticipation guides before, during and after reading or listening to text.

Does this make me feel more knowledgeable about the 12C English course? Nope. I feel like I want to start prepping it right away.

Some of My Fave Novels

I'm going to talk about some of my favourite novels that are set in the Canadian farming country.

1. Crow Lake by Mary Lawson
Plot: Mr. and Mrs. Morrison die in a car accident, leaving behind four children. Luke is the oldest of all at 18, and Matt is second at 17, Kate at 7 and Bo at 2. One part of the story is partly about how they survive on their own. The other part of the story is about Kate and how she lives through adulthood living inside a bubble, and how she comes to realize this truth.
Setting: Crow Lake, a fictional town in northern Ontario located north of North Bay. It's very north, but not as north as Sioux Lookout ;)
Canadian Farming Country: I loved the descriptions about all the living things living in the pond near the children's home. The road that connects the town, Crow Lake, to the rest of the world southward is also a memorable image because Kate describes it as a one-way street. It doesn't allow you to travel northward because nobody ever had the desire to any further north than they already were.
Online Review: I think this is a lovely
REVIEW, one of the best I've read about a book I really like (and there are hardly any)

2. Cure for Death by Lightning by Gail Anderson-Dargatz
Plot: I don't remember much of the plot, and I have a feeling there wasn't much of a plot at all. The story was riveting all the same because there is a mystery death of a young town-girl to solve. Beth Weekes, 15, is the narrator.
Setting: Rural British Columbia. For some reason, I remembered it being set in the prairies, but after researching it on the net, it's confirmed to be BC.
Canadian Farming Country: What I love about the setting is not just the descriptions of the field, but rather the descriptions of what people have to do to make a living on the farm. There is work to be done in the field, and work to be done in the barns and in the home. It's so different from living in the city, which is probably what attracts me to these stories.

3. The Winter Helen Dropped By by W.P. Kinsella
Plot: A young boy befriends a Sioux woman, and a very moving friendship develops.
Setting: Manitoba or Saskatchewan, I can't remember.
Canadian Farming Country: Don't remember much except for a river that is described according to the seasons: winter, spring, summer and fall. A lot of action takes place on or near the river. I guess it's the metaphorical boundary between childhood and adulthood. If you stay within the boundary, life still seems like a fantasy, and the dangers that threaten the idyllic life of a child is merely a threat.

Exporting Generic AIDS Drugs to Rwanda

Click HERE to read my previous post on this topic, written approximately one year ago.

Now, CTV News has reported that Canada is going to be the first country to export generic anti-retroviral drugs to a developing country: Rwanda. Apotex is the name of the company that manufactures the drug, and its name is called Apo TriAvir. Canada is able to do this for the following reasons:

1) Rwanda is unable to manufacture this drug on their own.
2) Rwanda has invoked the "compulsory license" which allows it to import a generic version of a drug, after negotiations have been made with the pharmaceutical company that holds the patent for that drug. This means that some compensation must be paid to the pharmaceutical company.

What's the Catch?

I dunno. The news article doesn't say, but I do wonder how much money Rwanda had to pay to the pharmceutical companies that hold the patent in order to import generic drugs from Canada?

And, when AIDS patients become resistant to the current TriAvir drugs, how will they get to import the next drug? Will this whole process have to be repeated again? How much harder will it be when that time comes to invoke the compulsory license? What road blocks will pharmaceuticals have created by then to further prevent these things from happening?